My mom gave up her battle with cancer Wednesday May 27th and went home to God. A part of me is overjoyed that her pain and suffering is over and she’s in heaven now with my Dad, but in one space of a second I not only lost my Mom but I lost my best friend.

Yesterday at the visitation people kept coming up to me and saying it doesn’t seem possible, she was such a tough lady, I never thought she would go. My sister-in-law told me that on Tuesday when I was out of the room, she had told Ilene that she was tired and just wanted to go home and did Ilene think I would mind if she just gave up and went. Ilene told her I would understand and deep down I do and I’m really glad she didn’t ask me, cause I’m not sure I would have been strong enough to tell her to go.

At the funeral home everyone kept standing around and looking at her and I could see her in mind raising up and telling everyone to quit staring that she was trying rest. Someone told me that they had never really met my mom and I told them that they had really missed out and it was so true.

I used to see and hear about what other mothers were doing and how they were choosing to raise their children and every time I would go to mom and I would hug her and thank her for being my mom. I would see a commercial on tv for some fancy new baby thing that a mother just can’t live without and I would tease my mom that I was lucky I lived since she never had any of that fancy stuff.

She will be forever missed and never forgotten. I know she is now watching over me as she has always watched over me.

I love you Mom.

Sorry for the lack of posts. I brought my mom home. She now has a huge infected bedsore that encompasses most of her backside. She didn’t eat right while in the hospital, can’t say I blame her since a starving dog wouldn’t eat what they serve. I just flat out told the doctor I’m taking her home. Of course we had to go into hospice since I couldn’t take care of her completely by myself. I’ve checked right and left and hospice is the only option in this whole area that takes medicare/medicaid and provides the services that hospice does. It’s really sad that you have to give up and die to get help.
I also received more bad news. My cousin Charlene who stuck by me the whole time mom was in the hospital and who said she would pack a bag and come stay with me to help out, is in the hospital herself now. She’s been having bad headaches for a month and the medical doctor said it was sinus. Well a ct scan Sunday showed 3 small spots of cancer. She called the cancer doctor and he put her in the hospital. She actually has lung cancer that spread to her brain.

I’m telling you right here, right now. We had better step up and do something before it’s too late for everybody. I’ve been doing research on cancer and I’ve talked to different people, and the consensus is it’s the preservatives in our food and the crap they spray on the crops these days that is killing us. It’s going to get to the point where cancer is as common as a damn cold, too bad you can’t lay in bed for a week and get over cancer.

Thursday night I had to call an ambulance to take my mom to the emergency room, she wasn’t acting right.   We got to the ER around 10:45, they told us around 1am that she would be admitted, it was after 3:30 in the morning before they actually moved her into a room.   They came in at one point and told us her potassium levels had went to low and asked if she wanted pills or liquid potassium.   Of course my mom said pills were fine.   They brought her 4 pills and left her all slumped over on the gurney to try to swallow 4 pills and water.   She gagged and threw up.   Instead of the girl grabbing a nearby garbage can, she runs out of the room to get an actual spit tray.   What happens?   My mom tries to hold it in her mouth until she comes back and in the process I honestly believe she inhaled some of that because right after that her breathing changed and her oxygen levels dropped from 99 to 63.  I could see the machine clearly.   They said no she didn’t aspirate any of it and just put it off.  Then she told them she needed to use the bathroom, they told her in just a minute.   She waited about a half hour and asked again, they told her were going to insert a catheter in a few minutes.   She waited again.   The nurse told her to just go to the bathroom and they would clean her up later.   I’m sitting there getting a little upset.   Two hours go by and I ask my mom how she is and she says she need to really go to the bathroom, I said the nurse said to just cut loose and mom said she couldn’t, it didn’t work that way.    So I got the nurse back in the room and told her again that my mom needed to go to the bathroom.   She explained that mom’s blood pressure was elevated and her oxygen level was low and they didn’t want to try laying her flat to insert the catheter until her oxygen levels came up (which her oxygen levels were find when we got there if you remember).   I asked her if a person was angry and irritated if that would that cause the same type of problems my mom was having and she said well it can.   I said well she really needs to go to the bathroom and she’s getting pissed.   She said again they didn’t want to try to insert the catheter right then and I asked can you not put her on a bed pan and she was like well I guess we can.   Soon as they get her on the bed pan and my mom starts going, low and behold, her blood pressure drops back to normal and her oxygen level goes back up a little.   I pointed it out and the nurse agreed.   Suddenly the nurse is trying to be all super sweet and nice and explaining that the other girl is a student nurse, yada yada.    Fine but isn’t the the RN supposed to supervise said student?

Finally get mom into a room around 3:30am, it’s 5am when they finally get her in bed and they finish asking all their questions and I go home.   They wake her at 8am for breakfast, then again at 9am for medication.   I won’t even go into the food they brought her, I’ve tasted of it each time and to say it’s not good is an understatement.    It doesn’t even look appetizing.    I’ve told them every day that she is supposed to sit straight up while eating and for 30 minutes after each meal.   Today at lunch is the first day I was able to get them to actually sit her up and that’s because her doctor realized today that they have not had her out of that bed since she’s been there.   Also, this morning she is still sleeping and lethargic and I said something and mom told me she didn’t get any sleep, they come in every hour on the hour scaring her to death and she can’t sleep.   So the doctor had a note put up not to wake her up unless absolutely necessary.

I do not understand the hospital at all, people are there to rest, to heal, to get better.    That takes rest and proper care.   As you can see by our experience so far we have not received that very well.   Don’t get me wrong the people working at the hospital are great people personality wise, but I think some things could be improved when it comes to patient care and I definitely think something needs to be overhauled in that kitchen.

I’m sitting here this morning watching reruns of Still Standing on lifetime and a random thought popped into my head.   I spun it around and realized it was kind of interesting so thought I would share it.

Think back to your high school days and the people you went to school with.   The guy who was stoned every day, the girl who came to school drunk every day ( I only did once, who knew home brew was that potent), the tough guy, etc.   You get the point.    Now stop and think about this.   Those people grew up and some of them probably got married.   Then they probably had children.   I would love to know what type of parents these people turned out to be.

Have you ever wondered about that?  I remember a few that scares me a little.   Come to think of it, just about every week I see the name of a girl I went to high school with in the court news section….wonder if she’s a mom now.